Dude, This is Not Dubai.

(via colporteur)

Best moment of the breakup scene was after Ron broke all of Sami’s shit, Sam brought her broken glasses to confront him and burps in the middle of crying.
[That is not a sentence.]

Ashton Kutcher could do better.  Then again he is married to Demi Moore, this movie just got more believable. 

davidchristenson:

erockappel:

Holy shit!  This “Rob Lowe Goes Nuts” promo for the new season of Parks and Rec is fucking AMAZING!

Wonderful!

(via markdavidchristenson)

“Get Crazy, Get Wild,” Season 3 of The Jersey Shore has arrived and we find the gang preparing to head to Sea Side for the summer. Snooki is orange, very orange. One could only imagine the slug trail she would leave on your man piece. I shutter at the thought.  This summer she is bringing her oompa loompa friend Deena to the house and she is the self proclaimed, “Blast in a glass ,” or “Walking Holiday.” Ron and Sami Sweetheart are still together and pitiful.  Sam should change her moniker to Sami “Slavishly Dependent.”  They suck, allot. JWoww packs up as her boyfriend Tom counts the days til DJ Pauley D is nuts deep in her grill.  Needless to say the second hand is counting down this relationship.

What in the world?  Why are all these kids driving Beamers? Yes, Snooki’s has an Ed Hardy wheel cover and horible angel seat covers but Ron and Sam and Vinny; new BMW’s. FUCK.

Okay, DJ Pauley D is rolling a Cadillac. All is well in the world. Wait why do all these kids have new Beamers and Pauley D’s Mom lives in a one bedroom above somones garage?  Tanning is not that expensive maybe it has something to do with the medication for his VD. 

This is getting too long, The Situation drives a Range Rover and looks for any reason to say “situation.” 

Ron and Sami get to the house first, claim the upstairs room with 3 beds in it. (Way to endear yourselves to skeptical roommates.) JWoww is the next to arrive and is eager to see which of friends/roommates are at the house, she finds only Ron and Sam have arrived and no one speaks through the commercial break. Snooki and Deena are next in the house, they bunk with JWoww; which totally screws Deena in the: I am the slightly more attractive meatball, so I look good, category. Next to JWoww Deena looks, well for lack of better description, like Snooki.  Vinny and Pauley arrive next and take the 2 bedroom down stairs which leaves Mike, The Situation to room with Ronnie and Sam.

The roomates stay in their first night and Deena gets to know everyone, except for Ron and Sam that stay in their room. Sami calls everyone horrible and pathetic and questions why Ron would stay with her. Hey Sam thinks she is aweful too this may be a bridge between her and the roomates.  Back to the Deena show: Deena out Snookis Snooki as she stumbles into the hot tub, gives Vinny blue balls, and shows The Situation her cuca. By the end of the night Deena goes up to Ronnie and Sam’s room to seduce The Situation.  Mike wants no part of this, as he has a brand to look after, and Sami laughs her out of the room showing no respect. 

Which brings us to the end of the episode where tensions have risen to the first fight of the season: Sami “Slavishly Dependent” vs. JWoww.  Not good. Sami tries to make JWoww flich by faking a punch.  JWoww does flinch and upon recoil unloads a clean combo to Sami’s alien like head. Much hair pulling ensues, Vinny breaks up the fight while Ronnie sits in the corner thinking, Fuck my life.

Orange People CoDependent People Alien People Business People: it is the Shore People.